The Never Married Single Adult
#1
In our country and I'm sure it's not different in any country, the never married single adult makes up the majority of the single adult population. This is most likely because many singles 18 years and over are still in school and are just entering the workforce. However, these 18-25 year-olds must be included in the adult population because some are married.

Many never married adults are waiting longer to marry because:

1. A significant demographic shift. Today there are simply not enough single men to allow every single woman to marry. War is one of the culprits.

2. Call to ministry. Within the church there are single adults who sense a call to some area of ministry.

3. The growing number of career women.

4. Personal freedom with no accountability. Another reasons many adults have postponed marriage is an unprecedented craving for personal freedom.

5. Unrealistic expectations. Many single adults say they are still single because they cannot find the right partner.

6. Lack of commitment. Marriage requires self-sacrifice. Many are more interested in other things.

7. The Peter Pan syndrome. a syndrome that is narcissistic, adolescent-like attitude which primarily afflicts educated urban unmarried adults who refuse to face the psychological and financial demands of growing up (by Dr. Dan Keiley)

8. Lax sexual standards

(Taken from Singles Ministry Handbooks edited by Douglas L. Fagerstrom and Produced by Victor Books
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#2
To be honest I think I probably identify most with #2 and 3. Ministry definetly has been a factor for me as well as career. Not sure that those two are the complete reason for my never-married status though. Perhaps other circumstances enter into the picture also.
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#3
I think #4 suits my lifestyle because I like my freedom. Not having to answer to anyone has some real advantages. Can you imagine always having to answer the question, "Where had you been?" That would not make me happy. :'(
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#4
Well, Scary, I'm glad you like your freedom. You must really be experiencing it lately because you haven't been posting on the forum for quite some time. Really miss you! ;D
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#5
Yes, it would be nice to be married. I think sometimes God can use us better single than married though. We look at the life of the Apostle Paul who may have been married at one time but, ended up single. He seemed to feel that God could use him better as a single than married.

We look at the life of Jesus who had a mission to carry out and we see that he focused on his mission and did not marry. Perhaps that we have been given a mission and may never marry. That is life.

Baggage? We probably all have more than we want to admit. There comes a point in our life where our brain just won't stuff it down anylonger and everything comes out. That is a very difficult time. I think we should work on things when we are younger so that we don't come to a time when we 'bottom out.' Working on our baggage when we are younger would be a smart thing.
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#6
A problem with working on the baggage when we are younger could be ignorance. I know with myself that I would have never know the events in my lift at the time would have caused such the baggage I possess now. I also was ignorant of how each event was actually affecting me and what I was doing about it. I had no clue that subconciously I was stuffing or holding on to the pain, hurt and not addressing the emotional wounds suffered.

Anyways, I've come a long way and have gotten through a lot with the help of Jesus taking me straight into each wound deep into the heart of the problem. With Him holding my right hand, He's taken me through a lot and made me a better person through it all.

Perhaps with Paul or anyone else really, a problem could be the fact that they can't keep their focus on God due to a relationship. The relationship detracts from the focus so much that they find themselves neglecting their relationship with God and focus on their relationship with their spouse.

I fear I may fit this persona. I hope not due to my dreams and desires of having a wife and family.
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#7
You are right. When I am in a relationship I tend to focus on the relationship and lose sight of my relationship with God. It is most helpful to have a partner who has a close relationship with God themselves. Perhaps that is why Jesus tells us we should not be unequally yoked.

These days my relationship with God is #1.
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#8
Of course, that girl from southern BC is a great lady! After all, she is from BC. :-)

Seriously though, it's too bad things didn't work out for you. She sounds like a nice person.
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#9
Awesome! I've heard the name -------- before, but don't think I've met her. I'm glad that she is doing so well.

Yes, there are many very nice and special people in the world but, if we marry we do need to choose someone suitable for us. Some people marry just to be married and not because they have found a soul mate. That is very sad and makes for a rough relationship.
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#10
Yes, I live about 80 km from Hope. I often go out to our Camp Hope for retreats and camp meeting, etc.

It clicked! I know Dr R and their family. I forgot their name is spelled with a C not a K. They live closer to me than Hope. Neat.
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#11
Sure, I'll be happy to give them your greetings.

I'll be seeing Dr. R on April 27 for sure. We are trying to start a SAGE BC in our conference and it is one of my responsibilities. (SAGE is the acronym for Senior's in Action for God with Excellence) We have our convention April 25-29 at Camp Hope. He will be coming in on Friday to do a workshop on Excercise For Men 55+. So if I don't see him before then I can at least give him your greetings then.
They are a very nice family.
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#12
I'll tell you one thing.. that's the right man for giving that talk. That man is a machine and a beast when it comes to fitness. I've always been really impressed with him in that area.
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#13
Good, I'm glad. We had been told that he lead out in exercises at a CHIP meeting and that he was very good. That's why we invited him to present the workshop. The men will certainly be inspired to keep exercising in their retirement years. That is what we want.
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#14
As someone with a degree in Physical Education it was always very important for me to stay fit and in shape. Since I have been working in an office that has flown out the window and now it would take me a while to get back in shape. You are right we do not do enough to keep fit. That is very SAD!
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#15
I, myself, have always tried to keep in shape. I never tried too hard though, which I didn't really have to. I'm very athletic and in school played every sport good enough for me to really enjoy playing. That kept me in good shape.

Now that I'm at of school, I find it difficult to find the time and the energy to exercise. Since I'm a graphic designer, I sit at a desk all day long working on a computer. Though, a lot of the times at lunch, I'll eat at the park and take a walk after eating. That definitely breaks up my day nicely and allows my body some movement, which usually only my hands get with the keyboard and mouse.

The past couple of years have been really hard to keep fit due to tearing my right hamstring playing soccer as a goal keep and tearing 3 ligaments in my left ankle from playing basketball. Both of those incidents have taken me out of sports activities and have kept me from exercising. Of course, I can't completely blame them. I have been lazy. I just need to get back into the routine and habit of exercising on a regular basis. Perhaps once I move down to Florida, I can do that with ease.
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