Reasons Why Singles Stay Single
#1
They say that the increase in the number of single adults today is partially related to the reasons why men and women marry. Some adults marry to experience the bond of love or sex, for mutual aid in the struggle for existence, and to have children. Today's urban and industrial age, modern conveniences, a career emphasis, the changing role of the family, the increased divorce rate, changing lifestyles, the women's rights movement, and fewer available men have made marriage less imperative as a means of providing love, aid or children.

Would you agree that the three main reasons for staying single are: the commitment to career, independence, and not meeting the right person? Is this why you are single?
Make it Happen! :-)
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#2
No, I don't agree with the three suggested reasons as to why people do not marry. It's my observation (over 56 years) that anyone who wants to be married can be married. In my younger, naive days I used to think physically less attractive people would have a hard time finding a partner - but observation has shown me there's no truth to that theory. Sometimes one has to make an effort - like if one lives in an area where there are few Adventists and you want an Adventist christian partner, then you may have to attend one of our colleges for awhile or frequent campmeetings or It Is Written seminars or CHIP Summits, but eventually I think one can find a partner.

In my own case, I'm not married to a woman because I prefer men. I find I have to make that point very plain when I come into a group of Adventist christians who can't stand to see me alone - they often try to match me up - I just had that happen at my last church where many in the congregation knew of my sexual orientation, but some new members didn't and the wife foolishly tried to pair me with a female friend.

Anyways, I'll look forward to reading posts from heterosexuals - to see why you're not married. I've always thought I'd have a very easy time finding a partner if I was in your shoes, but maybe not.
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#3
Glad you are posting here, Surveyor. Your orientation may be different than mine but, that's okay. You are most welcome here.

Being a heterosexual person, I think part of the reason I remain single is because I haven't met the right person or, I like to think that I am single for the reason given in Matthew 19:10-11 where Jesus says " His disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry." But He said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given." In other words, I have the 'gift' of singleness. God gave it to me.

How about the others of you. Do you have the 'gift' of singleness?
Make it Happen! :-)
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#4
Many people like myself are "socially retarded", I didn't see there was a problem till I got into my late 20s and now it is so hard to meet people.
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#5
Doug, you are most welcome here whether you are 'socially retarded' or not. I think you are probably too hard on yourself. Just because you aren't able to express yourself socially does not mean you are 'retarded!' I too struggle with expressing myself but, by participating on the forum, Club Adventist, and this forum I am learning to put my feelings into words and express them through writing. I don't have a problem expressing myself on a platform but I find that in a social setting I do. I don't have a problem in small groups but, I sure do in large groups. So Doug, glad you joined us here, maybe you will find that the more you put your thoughts into words here the stronger you'll grow socially.
Make it Happen! :-)
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#6
"Socially retarded" eh Doug? I think I may be able to empathize with you - I used to be the same, couldn't think of a single thing to say to people, avoided social situations, even used to have panic attacks which would make me dizzy and nauseous. It was quite horrendous and at the time I sure did pray for deliverance - looking back on it I can see that God was protecting me from something and I now thank Him for that (what he was protecting me from is another whole story).

The cure came when I realized that the best way to relate to other people in social situations is to concentrate on the other person and forget myself - so I deliberately ask others questions about their lives, what kind of work they do, where they're from, what they think about some current issue - whatever comes to mind. That made me forget myself and did away with my self-consiousness.

Not that I'm perfect, now I have to start concentrating on their answers - usually I'm so busy thinking of the next question so I can keep them chatting that after the encounter I haven't a clue what they said about anything. The devil has a thousand ways to fiddle with our brains and personalities - but thank God for having 1,001 ways to help us out, even using what appear to be deficiences to bless us.

Anyways, God bless Doug and all of you in finding a partner if that's what you want.
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#7
I'm very happy to fellowship with "socially retarded people" because they are just like me. The more like me we all are the more fun we will have.
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#8
hope this works - i am having a hard time figuring out this site as a new member - but the reasons I am still single have nothing to do with career - i don't actually have a "career" - i work to support my kids, and not any more than i have to, i want to see them too! climbing corporate ladders etc are not important to me. I am single because i have not met anyone, so that makes it difficult to marry!! also, the longer i stay single, the more i wonder how flexible i can be in giving up my independence, and still having kids at home ( all teenagers) i know would be difficult for them to accept a new "dad" at this point in their lives - it might be easier to wait until they are on their own, even though they keep saying " you need a man"!. i have tried to keep my kids and what is best for them my top priority - i can focus more on me when they are out of the house.
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#9
Hi Smiley. You did just great at posting and it worked! Glad you posted here. Since you are not married because you haven't met someone, you fit right in with the three reasons why singles stay single. Many of us fit in with the three reasons some place. Yes, it would be very hard to marry after being single for so long. I think if I were to marry I'd have to live at one end of the house and my partner at the other. Then we'd get a long just fine. At least we'd be in the same house. :-)
Make it Happen! :-)
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#10
Well this thread was posted quite some time ago but, I still agree with the reasons given for why some of us are still single. What about you?
Make it Happen! :-)
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#11
I'm really not sure why so many people stay single. Some of the reasons they list above are probably true but, I doubt that commitment to a career is one of them. Who wants to work for the rest of their lives? The reason I am single is probably because I just haven't found the right person. What about you?
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#12
well Scary, maybe a person wants to work for the rest of their lives just for money? For many, money speaks very loudly, don't you think?
Make it Happen! :-)
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#13
Hey, I just read this whole thread and I see that back in 2006 I made a comment and then added my own comment yesterday. See, I was a member of this forum quite a while ago. Really glad to be back.

Glad I don't have to work the rest of my life. I'm looking forward to retiring......several years yet though.
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#14
SCARY

WE are glad you are back also

dgrimm70
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#15
Yes, Scary we're very happy to have you back also....and....we're very happy to have you adding your comments. We need more members like you.
Make it Happen! :-)
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