Abused Female Children End Up Single, Separated and Divorced
#1
Very startling medical study reinforces what some have felt all along and shows that many abused female children end up as single separated and divorced women.

"Among the respondents, 22 percent reported physical or sexual abuse before age 18. Of this group, those who said they were abused as children, but not as adults, were generally younger and better educated than the rest of the study participants. They were usually single, separated or divorced."

If you want more information on the study you can go to the Health Issues Thread in this forum.
Make it Happen! :-)
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#2
It certainly makes sense. If one has no positive reinforcement with personal relationship in their childhood it is difficult to learn to trust, love and bond in adult life.
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#3
That is very true, Naomi. It is difficult to trust, love and bond as an adult if one has experienced abuse by a parent or other authority figure during childhood. So the results of the study are not surprising.

The study was done with women. I wonder if it were done with men if the results would be different? Kind of doubt it.
Make it Happen! :-)
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#4
I suspect that men who were abused in childhood experience the same issues as abused women. Perhaps they display their lack of trust differently but the root cause is probably the same.
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#5
[quote=darlene]
Very startling medical study reinforces what some have felt all along and shows that many abused female children end up as single separated and divorced women.

"Among the respondents, 22 percent reported physical or sexual abuse before age 18. Of this group, those who said they were abused as children, but not as adults, were generally younger and better educated than the rest of the study participants. They were usually single, separated or divorced."

If you want more information on the study you can go to the Health Issues Thread in this forum.

This is true. I was sexually molested before the age of 6 but didn't remember it until about 10 years ago. I have been married three times but have been single now for 22 years because I'm not able to be responsive to a man and am too afraid to get into another relationship. I also believe that sexually abused women make the wrong choices in men....the men are usually alcoholics or are abusive.
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#6
Hi Kaycee. We are so glad for your post! I'm very sorry that you had to go through such an experience and at such a young age. Your courage to post here demonstrates that you are dealing with the the results of this horrible experience.

Yes, I would agree with you that your experiences as an adult are the results of the abuse. You may never be involved in a marriage relationship again, but, if you have been receiving help in dealing with the loss in your life, you can still be a very happy person and lead a productive and rewarding life as a single adult. It's a matter of
choice and attitude.

Hopefully we will all not be so proud that we don't seek help for the losses in our lives. Personally, I have received help but know that we never ever get to a place where we no longer have work at dealing with our past. Thoughout our lives we will always need to work on things but, we certainly can live a very happy and productive life, whatever our circumstances.
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#7
Thank you for your kind response. I have prayed and worked through the healing process by counseling and 12-step programs. I am able to now help other women who have been abused and/or have been in abusive relationships. God has been good to me! I am very happy and very contented w/being single....I'm involved in several ministries in the church and just finished facilitating a 12-step program and a Bible study on prayer. Oh yes, two other persons and I are starting a singles ministry in our church and hope to expand it throughout the conference.
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#8
I'm so glad things have worked out for you, Kaycee, and that you have been able to use self-support groups and 12-Step groups, etc. They are very helpful. I wish more would take advantage of going to them.

It sounds like you are one busy lady! Isn't it good to get involved in using the gifts God has given?! I really feel sorry for those who only focus on their own life and never accept doing things for others. I believe they are the ones that are not 'whole' people. In my line of work I have to approach many people and invite them to participate in many things. There are people who say "Oh, I could never do that!" And I think to myself, "How sad. They just don't have the confidence in themselves or they just don't want to do anything." And thinking about it, maybe they just don't trust God to give them the ability to do it? If that is the case, that is even sader yet!
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#9
HEY
well a person can not teach what he/she has not be
taught. with all the high devorice and sex abuse that has
been going on for the last few decades. the children of such
happens only have that as a pattern to follow. they dont have a good family foundation.
and this is sad.

dgrimm60
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#10
You are right, dgrimm60, these people do not have the proper foundation but once they catch a view of what a proper foundation is they can build and grow to lead productive and a satisfying lives. To do that they need help to see what a proper foundation is. If one does not receive the help they need they will continue to limp along disatisfied.
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#11
DARLENE

YES a good example is that if a person breaks their
leg and stays on crutches then the leg will never
get strong.

dgrimm60
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#12
There comes a time in a person's life when he/she needs to stop using the abuse AND their parents as an excuse for their problems. There comes a time when he/she needs to take responsibility and learn from the past to ensure the dysfunction is not passed on to the next generation. He/she can use the experience(s) to help other people who are experiencing, or have experienced, similar situations.
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#13
I think you are right, Kaycee, it is a choice that we must make. I guess if one makes that choice sooner in life it is better than later, because one would have a much longer time to enjoy life!
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#14
Life moves on, even after one deals with issues in their life. Are there more people reading this who could share their experience? I suspect it would be very helpful to hear how others have dealt with what has happened in their life. Are you able to share?
Make it Happen! :-)
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#15
We still haven't heard from many of you who have experienced abuse in their past life. Anyone want to add something here? It would be very helpful to many.
Make it Happen! :-)
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